Almost 2 years since an update... I guess it's time again.

Well, looking at this page again... it's time to start again. And again. And again... until it takes. I'm pretty confident that this time it's going to work.

So, for a little update about how this went. I know that nobody but me reads this, I'm totally ok with that. I'm doing this for me.

After my last post, from Jan 29, 2010... I made a shitload of progress. Over that year stretch from Jan 29, 2010 to Feb 15, 2011 I had lost 86 lbs. I know this because when I went to the hospital on Feb 15, 2011 they weighed me. My weight was 296. I went to the hospital because that night I was jogging, I was on my 5th mile and I slipped on some ice that had formed on the running track while at full stride. My right foot went out from under me and I folded my left leg in half. Compound tibia fracture and total ankle destruction. I couldn't walk for over 6 months and then it was mostly a boot. Tons of x-rays, multiple surgeries and several bits of hardware later I can walk comfortable and starting in a few days, I'm going to jog again. I literally just went and had another x-ray on my leg today, everything looks fine, it's still healing. That's good enough for me.

So... enough about this shit, how did I lose 86 lbs in 12.5 months? Simple. Ate for nutrition with the abs diet, hit the weights at least 3 days a week, did P90X and ran everyday. Slowly at first, like I will need to do again. Then building up to 5 mile speed tests. When I broke my leg earlier this year, my legs were testaments to human evolution and my arms were testing the limits of my sleeves. When I was at the gym it was a solid mixture of full body weight cross training and heavy lifting weight training. This garnered the best results for me, the bodyweight training burned the fat I was hiding all over my body and causing me to lose the fat weight while the weight training allowed me to fill that weight back in with calorie burning muscle. I was becoming a fat burning furnace. So, my routine basically went like this, Monday 316lbs, tuesday 313 lbs, wednesday 315 lbs. I wasn't worried about the weight, because that wasn't the important thing, what was important was the health improvements. And by gaining those two pounds of muscle back between loss sessions, I was making myself healthier and skinnier, just not lighter, and since each time I was doing this my resting metabolism went up I would lose more then next week. It was a perfect system and it was working... until I went and broke myself.

So, again. I will be starting back on the New Men's Health Abs Diet. You can check it out here. It works. By sticking on this diet I lost all of that weight.

I will also be starting my P90X routine again.

And I will be jogging and lifting weights.

Something else that I've noticed about the drastic weight gain and loss, when I weight around 400 lbs I have some other medical Issues they are:

1. Back Pain
2. Acid Reflux/Heartburn
3. Diarrhea
4. Hemorrhoids
5. Body Odor
6. Sore Joints
7. Bad Breath
8. Dismal Sleep Schedule
9. Reduced Sexual Desire
10. Listlessness
11. Universal Apathy
12. Constant Exhaustion and Elevated Levels of Anger/Unrest.
13. Elevated Blood Pressure and Stress
14. Lack Of Focus at Work
15. Terrible sense of self worth.
16. Difficulty waking up in the morning and getting my day started.

When I was down at 300 lbs I:

1. My back didn't hurt, my back pain was gone.
2. No tummy troubles.
3+4. No more grumpy butt.
5. My sweat was clear and odorless.
6. My joints didn't grind or pop if I stretched properly.
7. My mouth always tasted fresh and clean and my teeth felt stronger.
8. I slept reliably, deeply and at regular hours.
9. I had an on command steel hard erection that would last for hours.
10. I had energy all day long, I got tons of stuff done.
11. I didn't want to do anything. Or if I did, I couldn't find the motivation.
12. I never ran out of steam, I didn't get stressed or lose my temper.
13. I had perfect blood pressure and a heart rate you could set your clock to.
14. My productivity in my job was extremely high, my focus was better.
15. I took care of myself and actually cared about me.
16. I woke up refreshed and energized. I'd spring out of bed and get my day started. No hitting the snooze button until noon.

And, as a bonus:
1. Could see my top 4 abs. (6 and 8 were on their way)
2. I didn't hurt aside from the soreness in my muscles.
3. I was always up to go on any adventure that presented itself.
4. I had my shit together, library books returned on time... etc.
5. I didn't get hurt, things that would have put me out of commission at 400 lbs barely affected me at 300lbs.
6. I got to buy all new clothes, and all of them were getting too big for me. (As weird as it sounds, it's fucking awesome to be able to put both of your arms inside of your pants that fit tightly a few weeks earlier.
7. When I went to the gym, everyone looked at me like I belonged there, I knew the other people who were regulars and I would get asked for advice. (At 400 lbs I feel like I don't belong there and that everyone is watching the fat guy do squats while his belly sticks out of the bottom of his shirt.)
8. I could run... and run... and run...
9. Losing weight makes your dick bigger. (This isn't actually true, but it does allow for different positions that having a belly/gut prevented before, also less of what you've got is hidden under that fat part just above your penis, so in a way it isn't bigger, it's just less difficult to use all of it.)
10. I was alright with taking my shirt off in public, this meant swimming pools and hot springs and hottubs... etc...

So, with all of those health benefits listed above, why does anyone get fat? Well there are lots of reasons, and mine were stacked on top of each other.

Hint: This is the part where I justify why I got where I am again and decide that it is within my control to make the changes necessary to my life to be the man I want and deserve to be.

I felt helpless because of my injury. The injury that made working out the way that I had impossible and wore down my body while it was trying to repair the damaged appendage. As I watched my progress slip away I became more depressed and finally gave in to the fact that I would need to do it all over again (This was a rather long process, I actually fought like a honey badger to maintain my healthy habits that I had developed over the course of the previous year, but one by one they became too difficult and I made concessions, one at a time my healthy habits disappeared and the weight started to come back.) Then once I was able to get around again I was unable to run or do anything that had any sort of impact on my leg... I can't explain how many crucial workouts involve your legs, yes I know that you can be creative and work nearly every muscle group without using an injured limb but what I knew worked and was familiar and comfortable doing wasn't part of that. So, my cardio fell off, yeah I could still bench a lot, but that wasn't a full body workout and I started gaining more fat back. During this time I was still unable to really cook for myself as getting around in a kitchen made making even the simplest meal an arduous task that took 4-6 times longer than it should and made a gigantic mess in the process, a mess that I would then have to inefficiently clean up after the meal was done. So basically I reduced myself to eating drive through tacos over the sink. Not the right choice but the one I reduced myself to. After a long cycle of surgeries and opiates and detoxing from said opiates and painkillers and anti inflammatory drugs and sleeping aids and anti nausea medications and anti depressants and on and on... once I got better and was able to actually walk and get myself around, I was so spun from the medications that I couldn't think straight and add into that the most personal turmoil I've ever experienced in my life by way of a series of very painful romantic mistakes I made that hurt people I loved very badly... I was eating shit because I didn't care. I didn't think it mattered. I felt past the point of no return... It was going to take a bunch of work to get back to where I was, what's a little more self destructive behavior.

So, that leads me to where I am today. I need to focus on myself and the things I need to do to make myself healthy and happy, because right now I am neither.

HINT: This is my pep-talk to myself: I've done it before, I can do it again, I know the road that lies before me, I've seen the signs and overcome the obstacles before, they shouldn't even surprise me this time. Will it be hard? Of course, but what isn't hard that is worth having, if it were easy, everyone would be in shape. Clearly that isn't the case. I'm fucking tired of waiting for "someday" to happen so I can be happy with myself. Is it unhealthy to put this much of the burden of my happiness onto my physical condition? Probably. But I like to think of it more as, the last barrier between me and total happiness. I'm completely happy with myself otherwise, I'm smart, I'm clever and funny, people like me, I'm fun (I'm more fun if I feel good and feel good about myself). Basically I'm living up to about 60% of my potential, and that just isn't good enough for me, I want to be pushing 100% and it starts with getting my body back in line.

So, that being said, what are my goals?

My goals:

Immediate:
1. No more soda. Not for any reason. No matter what. Cold turkey. If I'm thirsty I drink water, tea, coffee or emergen-c. If I'm drinking enough water, I won't be thirsty.
2. No more drive through food of any kind. Go hungry if I have to but no more drive through anything. (This was a bad habit that I justified because I couldn't get in and out of the car easily when my leg was broken, so the drive through was ok, not anymore.)
3. Even if it is just 30 feet to start, I will jog tomorrow, I will go for as long as I can. Then the next day, I will go longer than that.
4. Going to the gym to lift on Mondays and Thursdays are no longer optional. That is where I will be, no matter what is going on with my friends or with my work, those are my gym nights, there is no negotiation.
5. Take a picture of everything I eat. Good or bad I will take a picture of it if I put it in my body.
6. Start taking my vitamins tomorrow morning.

Long term:
1. I'm setting my UGW right now, I will be 265 lbs. This likely won't happen in the next year. 100 lbs in one year is quite an accomplishment. I need to lose 123 lbs.

2. You might be asking yourself, why 265 lbs? Well it's simple. I want to fight in an MMA fight in front of an audience again before I'm too old to do so. I want to have all of my friends and my family and my co-workers come and watch me fight. I don't care if I win or lose, (clearly nobody gets into the ring to lose) I just want to fight under the lights in front of an audience at a sanctioned match. This is my dream. And the top end of the sanctioned Heavyweight division is 265 lbs. That is the maximum weight to be an MMA fighter.

3. I want my eight pack back. I want to be able to see definition in my abs all the way down my torso.

4. 9% body fat.

My weight stats as of today:

ch 6'6"
hw 398 lbs
cw 377.4 lbs
lw 296 lbs
1gw 350 lbs
2gw 325 lbs
3gw 300 lbs
4gw 280 lbs
ugw 265 lbs

My goal is 280 lbs by this date next year.

I intend to weigh less than 280 lbs by 12/30/2012.

I will update this as I make progress.